Why does my cat stare at me? What the long look means

Why does my cat stare at me? According to the UK charity Cats Protection, the answer is partly you. Its guide to why cats stare says a cat's long look is often something we have trained without realising it, and that it is also a sign of a close bond.

This guide sets out what the charity says, how to read the eyes with two more body language guides, when a new stare is worth a vet visit, and why you should not stare back at a cat you meet outside.

Why does my cat stare at me? The short answer

Cats Protection starts from how cats live. As a solitary species, it says, cats do not naturally feel the need to hold eye contact with others to communicate. But if staring gets them something, they may give it a go.

Its example is a familiar one. Your cat stares at you. You take it to mean it wants food or attention, so you give it a treat or a fuss. The cat learns that eye contact brings a reward, and tries it again.

The more the stare is rewarded, the charity says, the more likely your cat is to stare to get its way.

A learned habit, just like the meow

Cats Protection makes the link itself: cats learnt to meow for the same reason. They have no need to communicate that way with other cats, but when they meow at us, we tend to read it as a request and give them what they want.

So the stare and the meow work the same way. Both are tools a cat has found work on people. Our guide to why cats meow covers the sound side of that conversation.

That also means your own cat's stare is personal. It is shaped by what has happened, in your home, after it stared before.

A stare can also mean trust

Cats Protection adds a warmer reading. As well as being a way to communicate, it says staring is a sign of a close bond between you and your cat. Cats are unlikely to hold eye contact with someone they do not like or trust.

If your cat slowly blinks while it looks at you, the charity reads that as more trust still: the cat is comfortable enough to close its eyes with you there. It suggests slow-blinking back.

The slow blink has been studied, and sources weigh the evidence differently. Our guide to why cats slow blink sets out what the research says.

Read the eyes, not only the stare

A stare is easier to read with the rest of the face. The PDSA's guide to cat body language describes the eyes in three moods.

The same long look can mean different things. Check the eyes and the body. Sources: the PDSA and Cats Protection.

• Content: eyes that look more almond shaped than round, perhaps half closed if the cat is lying down. A cat that looks at you and blinks or winks slowly is usually content.
• Anxious: eyes that look wider, with really big pupils. The PDSA notes that big pupils can also come from low light, or from a cat being really excited.
• Angry: eyes that can look big, with pupils that often look dilated.

The RSPCA's cat behaviour guide says the same thing from another angle: look at a cat's eyes, tail, mouth and posture together. In its pictures, relaxed cats have eyes of a normal shape or partly closed, while its tense, worried and frightened cats have dilated pupils.

So a soft, blinking stare from the sofa and a wide, fixed stare from under a chair are not the same message.

When a new stare is worth a vet visit

Cats Protection says staring is usually nothing to worry about. Two cases are different:

• A new habit. If your cat has only recently started staring, the charity suggests mentioning it to your vet, who can rule out medical causes.
• An older cat. In older cats, it says staring could be a sign of sight loss, so get them checked as soon as possible.

Do not stare back at a cat you meet

Outside your home, the rules change. International Cat Care's guide on how to greet a cat says to avoid directly facing a cat, to look beyond it rather than straight at it, and to blink slowly. In its words, staring tends to create distance rather than reduce it.

It also says a cat should always be free to decline by walking away. Our guide to approaching a cat you don't know covers the rest of that advice.

Cat Go is a game for those walks that keeps the meeting calm. It plays in your web browser: "Walk anywhere, photograph a real cat, lure it with food and catch it. Every catch keeps its breed and where you found it."

Cat Go starts on a map. You tap the camera when you spot a cat.

Here is a meeting you can follow:

1. When you see a cat, stop where you are. Look past it rather than at it, and blink slowly.
2. If it walks away, let it go. That is its choice.
3. If it stays relaxed, tap the camera. The screen says "Fit the whole cat in the frame".
4. Pick its breed and toss in-game treats. The game's advice is "Stay calm with your tosses", since "Cats you've startled leave quickly."

The treats are kibble and tuna inside the game, collected at treat stops on the map. The real cat gets nothing but a calm passer-by.

Frequently asked questions

Is it bad if my cat stares at me?

Usually not. Cats Protection says staring is mostly learned and is also a sign of a close bond, since cats rarely hold eye contact with someone they do not trust.

Why does my cat stare at me while I eat?

Cats Protection gives that exact example: if a stare has brought food or attention before, the cat learns to try it again.

Should I stare back at my cat?

Cats Protection suggests slow-blinking back when your cat slow blinks at you. With a cat you do not know, International Cat Care says to look beyond it and blink slowly instead of staring.

When is staring a health worry?

When it is new, or in an older cat. Cats Protection says to mention a new stare to your vet, and that in older cats it could be a sign of sight loss.

Get started

Next time your cat gives you the long look, check its eyes before you reach for the treats. Then take the habit outside, and meet the cats on your street calmly.

Play Cat Go in your browser: walk anywhere, photograph a real cat, lure it with food and catch it.